Triggers and Glimmers: Finding Balance in Everyday Moments

Written By Elise Zijai

In today’s culture, we often hear people saying that they are ‘triggered’. As a high school teacher and adolescent counsellor, I hear a lot from teens, and one only has to look at their socials to know that this term can be overused and used out of context.

So, let’s talk about what a trigger actually is. A trigger can be anything—internal or external—that causes a noticeable shift in our nervous system, usually leading to a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. It’s like a time machine, taking us back to a painful moment in the past, putting our body on high alert. Triggers often touch on the wounds of our inner child, and experiencing them constantly can really take a toll on our health.

While we know how tough triggers can be, they sometimes serve as reminders to pull back, set boundaries, or listen to our bodies. But what about their opposite—glimmers?

Glimmers are those tiny moments that make us feel joy, peace, connection, and clarity. Unlike triggers, glimmers have a positive impact on our health and wellbeing. They help regulate our nervous system, making us feel safe and calm. In our busy, overstimulated world, these little moments are like a breath of fresh air. They are welcomed by our biology, putting us in a state of ‘rest and digest’ as described by Polyvagal Theory.

Here are some examples of glimmers:

  • Cuddling a pet

  • A specific smell (for me, it’s the fresh pine of a Christmas tree or the scent of daphne, which brings back memories of Nanna’s garden)

  • Moments in nature, like feeling the sun on your face on the first warm day after winter, or seeing a rainbow

  • Eating a hearty dish that reminds you of your childhood 

So, how can we bring more glimmers into our lives? It feels like we’re naturally wired to notice our triggers, but glimmers aren’t always as easy to spot. I do not support a culture of toxic positivity, but even just being aware that glimmers exist can help us feel more balanced. When we start looking for them, we’re more likely to notice them.

Think about moments in your past when you felt a sense of peace or reflect on what made you feel safe and cared for as a child. Maybe it’s a loved one who makes you feel like you can be yourself. Can you bring any of these moments into your life, like visiting a special place or making a phone call to someone. Even bringing these memories into your imagination or meditation can bring about glimmers.

Notice the brief moments you feel a sense of joy and security. These may come from a smile by a stranger walking by, or the sound of kids laughing uncontrollably at something silly. For me today, it was my nephew’s enthusiasm to make me a smoothie because he was proud of his recipe, or catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror during pump class looking strong.

Notice these moments, know that they are glimmers, and savour that warm, fuzzy, and safe feeling in the body while they last.

Elise Zijai